endorphins.

i had a creepy ass dream.
lifted weights and went swimming with bevin and my behbe.
gave my bruvuh a haircut.
took my non girlfriend home.
made papa dinner.
..and nowwww im all alone. -_- did i mention i was all alone?

ughhhh. has anyone seen danuel canes? its been reported that he was last seen in san mateo, at his boy thaang's house. i need more friends.

this was him and i, dancing to deadmau5 in my car. muahahaha

fin.

bicycle adventure.

wednesday. rode bikes with mothatrucka. my lovely toy on wheels decided to challenge me with a dismantled handle bar and i was forced to steer using my handy wick basket B] roadkill. all drains lead to the ocean. taro dreamsicles. walking on water. grass jelly drinks. good day. and then sleepover with my woman friend. good day, mate.

fin.

crustacean.

fourth of july was quite an educational day.
i learned a lot about crabs:

1. when making selections at the market you sort of have to trick them because the little buggers will play dead knowing that you want the live ones. and then i went through so much trouble getting them into the bag that i might as well have gone out and caught them straight from the ocean.

2. female crabs will hold each other down in a pot of boiling water whereas male crabs will work together in order to escape impending doom.

3. female crabs cost more because they taste better.

now, fact number three was unveiled at the dinner table, consisting of four gay women, a straight man, and a fourteen year old who was too busy de-shelling her meal to hear, nor grasp the humor in that statement.

fin.

oh you know, redbull and vodka..

you know, when my best friend said,
'hey shella, my beloved best friend, why don’t you come to the city
and go to a sorority fundraiser with me? you know, spend some time
with me, i haven’t seen you in like a week.'
i was like, 'lets do it!'
[excerpt from he's just not that into you]


..little did i know that it was going to be at a bar where we would meet a gay boy from san diego who had hella money to spend because he had religiously saved for his trip to the bay, which i figure didnt turn out to be as promising as he'd planned because it was his last night here and he still had loads of money to blow, the poor bloke. aaaaand the next thing i know, i am hella drunk and flirting with the cutie of a bartender, who was giving me extra straws in my redbull and vodka,
obviously as a token of her expeditious attraction to me. because thats exactly what people do when
they're attracted to you.. give you extra straws.

in an attempt to undo the gruesome tan they have incurred from endless
exposure to the sun, i shall now go and rub my knees vigorously with lemon.

fin.