'hey shella, my beloved best friend, why don’t you come to the city
and go to a sorority fundraiser with me? you know, spend some time
with me, i haven’t seen you in like a week.'
i was like, 'lets do it!'
[excerpt from he's just not that into you]
..little did i know that it was going to be at a bar where we would meet a gay boy from san diego who had hella money to spend because he had religiously saved for his trip to the bay, which i figure didnt turn out to be as promising as he'd planned because it was his last night here and he still had loads of money to blow, the poor bloke. aaaaand the next thing i know, i am hella drunk and flirting with the cutie of a bartender, who was giving me extra straws in my redbull and vodka,
obviously as a token of her expeditious attraction to me. because thats exactly what people do when
they're attracted to you.. give you extra straws.
in an attempt to undo the gruesome tan they have incurred from endless
exposure to the sun, i shall now go and rub my knees vigorously with lemon.
fin.
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